Voyage to Legacy

We both can play this game…

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 10:41:26 -0500

We both can play this game…

She who has eyes let her see, Ears let her hear & Feet let her walk...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 10:40:59 -0500

Many people gave Steve Harvey flack about writing his books Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man & Straight Talk, No Chaser. Men wanted to know how dare he tell them our secrets and some women thought they were suppose to abide by the book verbatim and in my opinion he did neither. I read both books. I thought that the 1^st book had some pretty good points to it but found Straight Talk, No Chaser to be straight up repetition of the 1^st book.

First of all why did women have to wait for this man to tell them what they should and should not do with their bodies? Personally, it should seem like common sense to me that you shouldn’t sleep with him as soon as you meet. I believe that a man knows what kind of relationship he wants with you based off the 1^st time he sees you and the initial conversation you all have. I also think the 90 day rule is also false hope. Let’s get serious here. If a man really wants to sleep with you he’ll wait longer than 90 days and dump you as soon as you give it up. Therefore, withholding sex isn’t going to make him stay because he could leave after the 90 days as quick as he could have left the first day. He may respect you more but maybe not enough to stay. My advice is don’t lay down with everyone you meet and because something looks good to you doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good for you.

There are a few points that he made I found to be valid with one being that men tell women what they really mean but women do not listen. I do not know how many females I know who are having relationship problems with men. Many of whom have brought their situation upon themselves. Someone I know we’ll call her ‘Ivy’ is interested in this guy. They go to church together and text almost on a regular basis. Ivy began to send him small gifts and one day built up the courage and told him she liked him and asked him where was their relationship going. He told her he figured she liked him from all the nice things she did for him and he thinks that she is a great friend and was happy she was there in his time of need. Boy was she hurt. Ivy asked me what do you think he meant by that? I asked her what did she mean what did I think he meant, he had already told her she was his FRIEND. I feel like sometime as women we feel we are magicians. We feel like we can change a man’s image, make him better, open him up to new experience or groom him into the men we want them to be. The truth is you can do all the grooming and neutering you want if he doesn’t want to be with you he will not. He will use you for the experiences& opportunities and go and be that good man for another woman who never gave him a thing but her time, lol.

1^stthing 1^stif you meet a man and he is already in a relationship and he’s creeping around with you on his girlfriend/baby mama/wife what makes you think his actions will change once you all “become official.” Just like some people are habitual liars I feel that some men are habitual cheaters. They will always cheat. And a woman’s intuition is one of her best qualities. Usually if you have a hunch it is right unless you are paranoid and have low self esteem and then there is no hope for you because you will always be suspicious. If you catch him having intercourse with someone else, find unnamed/identified numbers in his pocket or phone, unexplained female friends on his social networking pages, staying out more often than usual, continuous texting and behaviors/actions that is weird for his usual persona what other evidence do you need that he is cheating on you. I am a firm believer that karma is real and you definitely reap what you sew; therefore, people need to be cautious of the seeds they plant.

Some people think when a man calls a woman to see where she is that he is calling out of concern. However, sometimes men do this to check your location to make sure they do not run into you. I was recently told the story of Amber whose boyfriend Joe called to see if she was still at work because Amber usually worked late. However, this particular evening last Thursday to be exact Amber got off early and was about to go shopping. Joe inquired how long she would be and she said 45minutes to an hour. Although, what Joe didn’t know was that Amber was shopping in his neighborhood not her own so she would be at his house sooner than he thought. When Amber got there she didn’t bother to knock after all his car was outside so she quietly & politely let herself in with her key. Well, what did Amber see? She saw her man having sex with another woman. She wrote him a note and left. See I’m guessing Amber had been having a feeling for some time that Joe may be creeping and I hope her seeing old girl riding her man was enough proof for her. If you find yourself checking phone records, hiring private investigators or staking out his place like 5’0 then it’s time to call it quits.

One of the saddest parts of the book is the chapter that compares women to fishing meaning that men see you as a throwback or a keeper. A keeper being a woman that they are proud of and love showing off and a throwback being the kind of woman they use merely for a sexual pleasures or whatever needs to be done but that they clearly want no type of relationship with. When the book first came out and I was discussing this with women I knew that had read it one of the women commented that she knew she was a throwback. At that moment I felt so bad for her because she knew what her role was with men and even though she knew she had not placed herself in good position she didn’t seem to be fazed too much about the title she was wearing because she wore it almost proudly.

I wrote this post because I had a few conversations this weekend and they all involved relationships. My advice to anyone is that instead of going from one failed relationship to another take some time and be by yourself. There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact it can be a growing/learning experience. How can people truly ask someone else to love, respect and honor them when many of them don’t really respect themselves. Get yourself straight so that you can go forward and hopefully be involved in a worthwhile relationship. As my great uncle once told the lady he was dating, “If I can not be the table I sure in hell will not be the tablecloth…”

Here’s to the FUTURE because I’ve finally made...

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 11:08:35 -0600

Here’s to the FUTURE because I’ve finally made through the PAST!

2011 Farewell

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 11:05:00 -0600

Every year many of us often make New Year’s resolutions that we know we have no intentions on keeping; that is exactly why I did not make any last year. Yet, I saw many changes in 2011. The best act that happened this year for me is that I finished grad school. (Yay ME!) I often look back now and wonder how did I work full time and be a full time student with my numerous 15+ page papers in both classes and homework due every day. I know that it was not me that could have done any of it alone; it was only by the grace of God and prayers from loved ones that got me thus far. This year also bought illness into my life in more ways than one to those I hold the most dear to me. I am happy to know that although the illness will be ongoing that things are not as bad as we had thought.

The most interesting thing that happened this year is that a client asked me if she could give me a word and many of the things she told me were occurring in my life and by whom left me with an open mouth. I didn’t know this woman from Adam and she was telling me what was going on with me like we grew up together or something. I have seen much of what she said occur and the rest is being unveiled.

I noticed many changes in myself as well. People I use to enjoy the company of I’m fine only acknowledging them in passing. I began to separate myself from everyone and didn’t even communicate with people. The funny thing is that they didn’t reach out either. However, I noticed some of the “friends” I were once close to and communicated often with now we are as separated as oil and water.I noticed how some sorors I once defended in the company of others now barely want to speak to me at all or how some of them purposely try to make me feel uncomfortable in group settings; but that’s sisterhood? I am no angel but I am pretty sure I come close to it. If I do nothing else I am always fair and believe everyone should be treated respectably. Therefore, that is all I ask in return. If U don’t like me fine but respect me and I will return the favor.

I have even re-united with some old friends and gotten rid of relationships that were not so healthy for me. I realize as much as I try to be the peacemaker, go with the flow and the smooth out things between everyone, that all people will not like me. The reasons they choose not to is up to them but they will not and I just have to be okay with that. There are even persons who attach the title of friend to me who are and have been everything but that. I have heard that you only get a sprinkle of real friends in your life time. So, those few who are willing to ride with me know that I’m willing to do the same for you as long as time allows. And to those who decided to exit I would like to say your season in my life served its purpose and it was not by chance that we had an opportunity to encounter one another. I truly learned from our experiences so, THANK YOU!

Life is a game that I have never quite understood the hand I was being dealt but in the long run I always see how everything worked out for my good. I must remind myself of what the Bible says: Psalm 23:1-6 tells me that the lord is my shepherd and I shall not want… Philippians 4:13 tells me that I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me. Psalm 37:1-2 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb… Matthew 20:16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen. So, 2011 I would like to say that you have truly been a struggle personally & professionally but I am attempting to cope. I must say that I will not be sad to see you go. Therefore, I bid farewell to 2011 and hello to 2012.

Photo

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 06:02:06 -0500

Written by T. Smith--“Does Education Really Matter?”

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 06:02:00 -0500

Today, while surfing through one of the many social networking media sites I came across a photo. The photo was of a homeless man holding a cardboard sign. Now many would ask what makes this man any different from the thousands of homeless people that are scattered throughout the United States. This man sign read “PhD… and I will work for food…” When we think of the homeless epidemic in America most of us fail to realize that there are some highly educated people who have fallen victim to homelessness.

Being well educated no longer guarantees that you will have a bright and successful future. A college degree or degrees today means that you decided to take a step above the rest and join the other thousands of individuals who decided to go to college to have the extra edge on those who did not. Yesterday’s elite has become toady’s middle class, working poor and plain impoverished. The richest of the rich have remained just that. Meanwhile, the middle class has become the working poor and the working poor have become even poorer.

Our economy is and has been at a horrific state for sometime with a steady incline in the unemployment rate. Since April of 2011 the unemployment rate has remained around 9.0% and was at 9.10% for the month of September (Legislatures, 2011). 44.6% of individuals are considered long term unemployed, 14 million idled and 6.2 million people have been jobless for more than 27weeks (Legislatures, 2011).

See Unemployment Chart Below↓

National Unemployment Rates, 2008 - 2011

Jan. Feb. Mar. April May June July Aug. Sept. Oct. Nov. Dec. 2011 9.0 8.9 8.8 9.0 9.1 9.2 9.1 9.1 9.1 2010 9.7 9.7 9.7 9.9 9.7 9.5 9.5 9.6 9.6 9.6 9.8 9.4 2009 7.6 8.1 8.5 8.9 9.4 9.5 9.4 9.7 9.8 10.2 10.0 10.0 2008 4.9 4.8 5.1 5.0 5.5 5.6 5.8 6.2 6.2 6.6 6.8 7.2

Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics

I must say I can definitely relate to the gentleman holding the sign. I may not be homeless in the same sense but I can strongly relate to the struggle of poverty. I have learned in the past five years that it is not what you know as much as who you know. I have indebted myself to education and I often ask myself why? I ask because I work in a position where my talents are unappreciated and overlooked only benefiting the success of others who have no intentions on helping to guide me professionally but to put me on hold in order to help them look flawless professionally. I have grown tired of hearing from employers that I am over qualified or need more experience. I have often wondered to myself if all employers have that frame of thinking where am I suppose to gain this additional experience?

References:

Legislatures, N. C. (2011, October 7th). National Unemployment Summary. Retrieved October 10th, 2011, from ncsl.org: http://www.ncsl.org/?tabid=13307

Audio

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:33:05 -0500

Accelerate-E-mail I received

Thu, 05 May 2011 09:18:00 -0500

” My times are in Your hand…”
(Psalm 31:15, NASB).

Today’s Word:

One thing I’ve learned is that God doesn’t always work on our timetable. In fact, He rarely does. But in a single moment, God can change your life! All throughout Scripture, we see examples of how God was working behind the scenes and instantly turned things around for His people. Scripture tells us He is the same yesterday, today and forever which means He can instantly turn things around for you, too!

You may be going through some difficulty today, but be encouraged because your times are in God’s hands. He wants to accelerate things in your favor. He wants to take you further than you dreamed possible and work in your life in ways beyond what you have ever imagined.

Let this truth sink down into your heart today. Resist discouragement by speaking His Word over your future. Keep standing. Keep hoping; keep believing because He is working behind the scenes. He’s going to accelerate your times and lead you into the life of victory He has for you!

Today’s Prayer:

Father God, today I humbly come before You giving You all that I am. I trust that my times are in Your hands. I trust that You are working things out in my favor. I set my focus on You knowing that You are working things out for my good. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Activate Favor- E-mail I received

Wed, 04 May 2011 12:21:00 -0500

Today’s Scripture:

” …The LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless”
(Psalm 84:11, NIV).

Today’s Word:

Favor is a part of your inheritance! You don’t have to beg God for it; as a believer in Jesus, you are in covenant with Him. That means that everything He has is yours!

The way you tap into that favor, or activate it, is by thanking Him for it. Say, “Father, thank You for Your favor today. Thank You that Your favor is causing me to be at the right place at the right time. Thank You that Your favor is causing people to want to be good to me.” See, you don’t have to pray about something that you already have, just receive it by thanking Him.

Before I speak each week, I never say, “God, please give me Your favor. Please give me Your anointing.” No, I simply say, “God, thank You for Your anointing. Thank You for Your favor on my life. Thank You for equipping and empowering me.” See, I know that it’s all part of my inheritance. So I just act like it’s true.

Today, activate His promises by faith. Praise and thank Him for His goodness and for blessing your life. Receive His Word as truth and hold it in your heart because He has already given His favor and blessing to you!

Today’s Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your favor and blessing in my life. Thank You for cleansing me and making me new. Your Word says that You will withhold no good thing from me because I walk blamelessly before You by the blood of Jesus. I receive it by faith and thank You for Your goodness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Hold Fast to DREAMS…

Mon, 02 May 2011 10:31:00 -0500

Hold Fast to DREAMS…

A Dream Deferred

Mon, 02 May 2011 10:27:00 -0500

As I sit here and listen to the rain beat down upon the tin roof my mind is filled with a variety of things. One of the things that came across my mind is how racially segregated everything still is. Which causes me to wonder what is it about a person skin pigmentation that causes one to be intimidated or instantly conjure up pure hate. If I were to begin to tell a story of a heinous crime the first thing one would want to know is if the offender was African American. Why we are as a people still viewed so negatively after all of these years?

This past Saturday a young Caucasian woman in the local Piggly Wiggly referred to my 68 year old mother as an asshole. Now my mother was pushing a shopping cart and this woman was behind her as she was turning to enter a checkout line. The woman tried to go around my mom and when she couldn’t she called her an asshole. My mom being the person that she is asked me not to say anything but I being the person that I am had to confront her. So, as she was leaving the store I stopped her and asked her if I correctly heard the statement that she made.

She went on to tell a lie about how she was in line and some people (my mom) just got in front of her and every time she comes to that store she is treated un-fairly. She apologized about what she had said because she knew she was wrong. I did not get loud, never left off the property and was respectful to her at all times; although, she blatantly disrespected my mother who was old enough to be her grandmother. I approached the woman not to be confrontational but to allow her to know I heard her and that her actions were inappropriate and disrespectful. We cannot go around misbehaving thinking that our actions will not one day catch up with us. I say that this woman is lucky that she did not disrespect a more radical African-American or the conversation or the incident may have taken another direction all together.

I also think of the President of the United States of America Mr. Barack Obama. He has been the most disrespected president in my lifetime. He is referred to by his name and not President Obama. Because he is articulate and educated it is considered arrogant and condescending. Critics are always talking about if he is black enough, is he a citizen of the U.S. and every move he makes is under the microscope. He is criticized for wanting his kids to go to public school, his wife for wearing shorts and a variety of other things. However, in the eight years Bush was in office not once did we constantly hear about his constant vacations and costs, dinner parties or the war and how it was ignorant for beginning in the first place. As a country people became patriotic and defended his vacations’ as he deserves a break after plotting America’s next move against the “Enemy”. Although, I am still trying to decipher who exactly are our enemies since he helped us accumulate so many. However, President Obama is expected to be a miracle worker and undo in a 4year term what it took Bush to screw up in 8years. This is because of the society color complex.

In summation Dr. King you were a very articulate and educated man. Your dream is one that I also hope that one day will become a reality. However, as of today that dream is deferred because this nation is still one that judges a person based on the color of his/her skin and not the content of the person’s character. The bells of freedom may be ringing but I ask is anyone listening and if so, how will you answer its call?

Seeing Potential in Others-C.Carter

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 09:55:00 -0500

Today’s Scripture:

” …Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out”
(Ephesians 6:18, The Message).

Today’s Word:

It’s easy to be someone’s friend when they’ve got it all together, when they’re walking in blessing and prosperity. Anybody can believe in people after they’re successful, after they graduate, after they’re promoted, after they get their big break. But, people need our support the most before they get their breakthrough. They need us to look past their faults and failures and see their potential.

Most times, people just need a little “push” of encouragement to keep them moving forward. We should always put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and see things from their perspective. You may have some good advice that could save them a lot of heartache and pain. Don’t keep it to yourself. Pick up the phone. Help them win. Maybe you excelled in a college course that they’re struggling in. Don’t sit back and think, “Too bad. They’ve got to learn it the hard way.” No, you are the hands and feet of Jesus. When you help others rise higher, you are fulfilling His mission. Today, share your love, support and encouragement. Invest life in others, see their potential, and together, you’ll rise higher into the blessing God has for you!

Today’s Prayer:

Father God, thank You for giving me influence with the people in my life. Thank You for equipping me to help others rise higher. Reveal to me the potential You have deposited in the people around me and show me ways to help them so we can win at life together. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Something out of nothing-Sent to me by C. Carter

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 06:00:07 -0500

Today’s Scripture:

” The earth was formless and empty…and God said, Let there be light”
(Genesis 1:2-3, NIV).

Today’s Word:

Do you need a miracle in your life for something that seems impossible? With man it may be, but we serve the all-powerful God, and He can create something out of nothing! He can make a way when there seems to be no way and open doors that seemed closed forever!

Genesis tells us that in the beginning, God created the heavens and earth, but before He spoke the world into existence, it was formless and void. If God can make the world out of nothing, He can take the empty places in your life and create something beautiful, too! He can speak light into your darkest hour. He can take your formless dreams and give them shape. He can resurrect your dormant gifts and talents! He can make your crooked places straight!

Remember, you are created in the image of almighty God. There’s power in your words, and there’s power when you’re in agreement with Him. Start saying what God says about your situation. Speak life to your broken dreams today. Speak hope into the hopeless places. Keep an attitude of faith and expectancy because He will turn things around for you and create something out of nothing!

Today’s Prayer:

Father in heaven, I trust that You are willing and able to make a way for me where there seems to be no way in my life. Fill me with Your peace and faith. Give me a vision for all You have for me and help me to always speak Your words of truth and life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

True Success-Sent to me by C.Carter

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 09:38:44 -0500

Today’s Scripture:

” …Freely you have received; freely give”
(Matthew 10:8, NIV).

Today’s Word:

There are a lot of people who are successful in this world. They’ve accomplished their goals in the public eye. But being successful isn’t just about what you make happen for yourself, it’s about what you make happen for others. It’s when you realize, “God has blessed me not to just sit on my throne and let everybody see my accomplishments; God has blessed me to be a blessing to others. God has helped me to win so I can help somebody else win.” In other words, it’s when you realize, “God helped me overcome this addiction, now I’m going to go find somebody and help them overcome.” Or, “God has blessed me with a happy family. I’m going to go find a family that’s struggling and help them get back on track.” That’s what being successful is really all about.

Today, look for ways to help others succeed. Reach back and give freely of the talents and abilities you’ve been given. As you do, you’ll rise up higher and live in the fullness of the blessing God has prepared for you!

Today’s Prayer:

Father God, thank You for giving me so much. Thank You for blessing me with talents and abilities and the desire to bless others. Show me ways to reach out and help others move forward and help them be successful so we can all rise higher together. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

This says it all

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 06:00:07 -0500

This says it all

Bullying A Chain Reaction pt. 4

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 06:00:00 -0500

Conclusion

Bullying is a very complex scenario. It consists of the perpetrator, the victim, the witness and the environment. While examining the studies it was clear that victims of bullying are exposed and experience emotional effects that can be long term. I have learned that bullying is emerging as an important health issue (Lipman, 2003). The outcome for bullies and their victims is a continuous cycle of events that include anger, depression, interpersonal difficulties, self esteem problems and suicidal thoughts and feelings. Instead of bullying scenarios getting better it seems to be getting worst. Some bully victims retaliate back by also being violent such as with the “Trench coat Mafia” of Columbine. Other victims of bullying become so devastated that their retaliation is to take their own lives like Phoebe Price and Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover of Massachusetts did last year. Violence only seems to cause more violence which causes me to ask myself what can be done to make a difference.

The thought of extinguishing bullying is great to ponder but to achieve a solution the community needs to put more thought in trying to conquer bullying in order to eliminate its victims. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world” and we have plenty of work to do. In order to began combating bullying I have one word, teamwork. Parents, students, faculty and the community must all agree to do their part and take a stand in order for us to begin the war on bullying. One way everyone can begin is by reporting incidents because silence is only fuel to cause more aggressive behavior. If the perpetrator knows he/she will be reported it may decrease their random acts of terror. Victims can also try ignoring the bully or removing themselves from bullying situations. Schools and state legislators can implement stricter policies and rules for and against perpetrators of bullying violence. The government can do its part by creating a national anti-bullying campaign to discourage bullying and other school violence. So, let us take a stand against bullying today and stop tolerating it!

References

Aluede, O., Adeleke, F., Omoike, D., & Afen-Akpaida, J. (2008). A Review of the Extent, Nature, Characteristics and Effects of Bullying Behaviour in Schools. Journal of Instructional Psychology, 35(2), 151-157.

Bonanno, R. A., & Hymel, S. (2010). Investigating Why Some Victims of Bullying Are at Greater Risk for Suicidal Ideation. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 56(3), 420-440.

Brown, S., & Taylor, K. (2007). Bullying, education and earnings: Evidence from the National Child Development Study. Economics of Education Review, 27, 388-401.

Browne, N. M., & Keeley, S. M. (2010). Asking The Right Questions. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson.

Dombeck, M. (2006). The Long Term Effects of Bullying. Retrieved January 18th, 2011, from THE AMERICAN ACADEMY OF EXPERTS IN TRAUMATIC STRESS: http://www.aaets.org/article204.htm

Ericson, N. (2001). Addressing the Problem of Juvenile Bullying. Washington, D.C.: Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

Gastic, B. (2008). School truancy and the disciplinary problems of bullying victims. Educational Review, 60(4), 391-404.

Gunther, N., Drukker, M., Feron, F., & Os, J. v. (2007). No ecological effect modification of the association between negative life experiences and later psychopathology in adolescence: A longitudinal community study in adolescents. European Psychiartry, 22, 296-304.

Hamilton, N. (2006). Stand up to the bullies. Nursing Standard, 21(3), 36-37.

Hay, C., Meldrum, R., & Mann, K. (2010). Traditional Bullying, Cyber Bullying and Deviance: A General Strain Theory Approach. Journal of Contemporary Criminal Justice, 26(2), 131-147.

Heino-Kaltiala, R., Rimpela, M., Marttunen, M., Rimpela, A., & Rantanen, P. (1999). Bullying, depression and suicidal ideation in Finnish adolescents:school survey. BJM, 319, 348-351.

Herba, C. M., Ferdinand, R. F., Stijnen, T., Veenstra, R., Oldehinkel, A. J., Ormel, J., et al. (2008). Victimisation and suicide ideation in the TRAILS study: specific vulnerabilities of victims. The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 49(8), 867-876.

Katzer, C., Fetchenhauer, D., & Belschak, F. (2009). Cyberbulling:Who Are the Victims? A Comparison of Victimization in Internet Chatrooms and Victimization in School. Journal of Media Psychology, 21(1), 25-36.

Lipman, E. L. (2003). Don’t Let Anyone Bully You Into Thinking Bullying Is Not Important. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 48(9), 575-576.

Matthiesen, S. B., & Einarsen, S. (2004). Psychiatric distress and symptoms of PTSD among victims of bullying at work. British Journal of Guidance & Counselling, 32(3), 336-355.

Olweus, D. (2010 a). Research and History. Retrieved February 10th, 2011, from olweus.org: http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying_research.page

Olweus, D. (2010 b ). What is Bullying? Retrieved December 30th, 2010, from Olweus Bullying Prevention Program: http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying.page

Ortega, R., Elipe, P., Merchan-Mora, J. A., Calmaestra, J., & Vega, E. (2009). The Emotional Impact on Victims of Traditional Bullying and Cyberbullying. Journal of Psychology, 217(4), 197-204.

Price, S., & Jones, R. A. (2001). Reflections on Anti-Bullying Peer Counselling in a Comprehensive School. Educational Psychology in Practice, 17(1), 36-39.

Rivers, I., & Noret, N. (2010). Participant Roles in Bullying Behavior and Their Associaton with Thoughts of Ending One’s Life. Crisis, 31(3), 143-148.

Ruscio, J. (2008). Critical Thinking In Psychology. Belmont, CA.: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.

Scarpaci, R. T. (2006). BULLYING Effective Strategies for Its Prevention. Queens, New York: Kappa Delta Pi.

Schworm, P. (2010, April 30th). State bill targeting bullying approved Aims at school, cyber behavior; One of toughest measures in US. Retrieved January 18th, 2010, from The Boston Globe: http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/04/30/state_bill_targeting_bullying_approved/

Terry, T. M. (2010). Blocking the Bullies: Has South Carolina’s Safe School Climate Act Made Public Schools Safer? The Clearing House, 83, 96-100.

Thesenvitz, J. (2001, February 20th). Public Service Announcements:How Can We Make Them Effective? Retrieved February 10th, 2011, from undp.org: http://www.undp.org/comtoolkit/reaching-the-outside-world/docs/Tools/PublicServiceAnnouncementsHowCanWeMakeThemEffective.pdf

Wal, M. F. (2005). There is bullying and bullying. European Journal of Pediatrics, 164, 117-118.

Woods, S., Wolke, D., Nowicki, S., & Hall, L. (2009). Emotion recognition abilities and empathy of victims of bullying. The International Journal of Child Abuse & Neglect, 33, 307-311.

Photo

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 06:02:08 -0500

Bullying A Chain Reaction Pt.3

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 06:02:08 -0500

Problem Resolution

If we traced the lives of many people it would reveal that they have experienced traumatic events (Ruscio, 2008). One trauma experienced by many children and adolescents is bullying. Approximately, 1.6 million of America’s children fall victim to being a prey of bullying at least once a week (Ericson, 2001). When searching for research on the topic of bullying there are plenty of studies that have been conducted but the information lacks in substance. Thus far the research has taught two things. First, bullying is not a subject matter to be dealt with nonchalantly and that more severe cases are continuing to occur. Second, victims of bullying suffer from long and short term emotional and psychological effects. What the research fails to offer are valid resolutions to combat the problem.

One resolution to combating bullying is through the creation of national bullying campaigns. These campaigns would include billboards, commercials, print ads, radio and after school television specials. Public service announcements are an effective way to deliver messages and create awareness for the school faculty, children, parents and the rest of the community. A public service announcement serves three purposes: preventing behaviors, discontinue behavior or to encourage a new behavior (Thesenvitz, 2001). The advantages of the public service announcements would be to create public recognition, inform the public of possible health problems, social influences (Thesenvitz, 2001) and encourage others to learn more about the issue of bullying.

In order for the PSA’s to go over effectively a focus audience has to be chosen. The focus audience would be children ages ten to seventeen because these are the age groups that maybe more vulnerable to bullies. The message the public must retain is that bullying is wrong, examples of bad bullying outcomes and legal consequences suffered by the bully. Incentives either positive or negative must be given in order to persuade the change of behavior. Thesenvitz, (2001) mentions the following negative psychological incentivess such as a reduction in grades and concentration, guilt, making bad decisions and lack of self-respect could help prevent a bully from emotionally damaging a victim. When negative appeals or incentives are being made the audience must feel that the outcome of the consequences will be severe (Thesenvitz, 2001).

The viewer must also feel the messages are crediable, accurate and valid (Thesenvitz, 2001). The purpose is to create or use a figure that the audience can relate to such as an expert or celebrity in order to help the delivery of the anti-bullying campaign make a bigger and better impact. All messages must be age appropriate for either elementrary, middle or high school age children. The PSA’s will have the same overall content but delivered in a way that each grade level can comprehend. When, what,where and how to display and relay the messages is also important. To be effective the PSA’s should be seen at child friendly times on avenues that are heavily explored by youth such as on Nickelodeon, PBS, Disney, Cartoon Network, VH-1 or MTV.

The disadvantages to public service announcements are the different types of media used such as print, electronic or television. Some media is used more frequently than others and if the wrong media is used it decreases the effectivness of the campaign. Time and location can also be disadvantages if the PSA’s are not displayed in areas or played on stations during hours children are awake and viewing. The figure used to promote the campaign can be a disadvantage if they have gained a bad reputation and if the kids do not think the person is creditable there will be little hope for a anti-bullying campaign. The campaign needs to be culturally friendly so that all children and adolescence can connect and find the information informative, motivational and useful.

Bullying a Chain Reaction Pt.2

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 06:00:08 -0500

Critical Analysis

Bulling is about power. It is the way the strong can prove themselves to others by conquering those they deem weak. Bullying is violence that can be physical, verbal, emotional or social. In fact some victims of bullying are at risk for having long term emotional effects. Bullying has been credited with causing poorer health such as depression and other mental health disorders in adulthood (Heino-Kaltiala, Rimpela, Marttunen, Rimpela, & Rantanen, 1999). Current statistics suggest suicide ideation is greater for victims of bullying than bullies or bystanders (Rivers & Noret, 2010). The idea of bullying goes beyond the point of people feelings being hurt. For some victims it has come to the point where they feel their only outlet is to take their life or continue the cycle of violence by inflicting pain on others (Rivers & Noret, 2010).

People seem to want a direct answer as to why bullying occurs or why its victims experience the vast emotions and behaviors that occur. With topics such as bullying there is no single cause of events but a combination of many contributors (Browne & Keeley, 2010) that lead to the bully’s actions received by their victims. Possible contributors to bullying are environmental influences, a need for dominance, intentional hurt and social manipulation. Some effects of bullying on its victims are loneliness, depression, truancy and suicide.

Environmental influences such as bad neighborhoods could cause a child to be more vulnerable to being picked on. Negative effects for both the victim and the bully can begin with the home environment. If the bully comes from a home environment where there is physical abuse, verbal abuse or aggressive behavior he or she may reciprocate that behavior to others they feel they can dominate (Aluede, Adeleke, Omoike, & Afen-Akpaida, 2008). Victims who live in similar home environments could be an easier prey for the bully because they may be less likely to fight back or tell anyone what is occurring. The bully’s need for dominance creates an imbalance of power (Ericson, 2001) between the bully and everyone else. As a part of dominance the bully may intentionally hurt the victim physically by inflicting force or socially by spreading rumors in order to prove a point to the others of what they can do and to the victim of what was allowed to be done.

An active social life is important to many youth during adolescence because it is a time when bonds and relationships are developed with peers or others of similar age. Social manipulation includes spreading rumors, telling lies, betraying trust, ignoring and excluding the victim is usually experienced more by females than males (Aluede, Adeleke, Omoike, & Afen-Akpaida, 2008). The spreading of rumors by the bully can cause the victim to be a social outcast, feel alone and embarrassed. When a victim is physically abused by a bully the scares scab over and heal. However, psychological and verbal humiliation may have different effects because you cannot tell exactly what the person is feeling or how the bully’s actions have made them feel. Depression can be a short term effect of bullying but left untreated and unnoticed can develop into something long term. Loneliness, trouble making friends and poor relationships with classmates is also experienced by victims of bullying (Ericson, 2001). Some victims of bullying participate in antisocial behavior such as truancy because of fear or being tired of getting picked on (Gastic, 2008). Suicide has also become a more common outcome/solution for victims of bullying.

The most important cause of bullying is environmental influences. Environmental influences are important because people fail to realize that although you may not be directly involved in a situation that you can be affected by it. When some people witness abuse or aggression they grow up to think that that type of behavior is tolerable. Therefore, they seek others to wreak havoc on. Change should be made at home with parents being more aware of what is occurring in their child’s life as well as change in his/her behavior. Schools could also be more helpful by creating harsher punishment for bullies who continuously torment others and by addressing issues that may seem like a bullying situation. All causes can be changed through a team effort of parents, schools and the help of the community.

We must all stand up against this. We’ve been sitting...

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 06:00:08 -0500

We must all stand up against this. We’ve been sitting down too long!