Mar
19
2012
Photo of the day
Posted 2 months ago
Comments
We both can play this game…
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Posted 2 months ago Comments
Posted 2 months ago Comments
Mar
19
2012
She who has eyes let her see, Ears let her hear & Feet let her walk…
Many people gave Steve Harvey flack about writing his books Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man & Straight Talk, No Chaser. Men wanted to know how dare he tell them our secrets and some women thought they were suppose to abide by the book verbatim and in my opinion he did neither. I read both books. I thought that the 1st book had some pretty good points to it but found Straight Talk, No Chaser to be straight up repetition of the 1st book.
First of all why did women have to wait for this man to tell them what they should and should not do with their bodies? Personally, it should seem like common sense to me that you shouldn’t sleep with him as soon as you meet. I believe that a man knows what kind of relationship he wants with you based off the 1st time he sees you and the initial conversation you all have. I also think the 90 day rule is also false hope. Let’s get serious here. If a man really wants to sleep with you he’ll wait longer than 90 days and dump you as soon as you give it up. Therefore, withholding sex isn’t going to make him stay because he could leave after the 90 days as quick as he could have left the first day. He may respect you more but maybe not enough to stay. My advice is don’t lay down with everyone you meet and because something looks good to you doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good for you.
There are a few points that he made I found to be valid with one being that men tell women what they really mean but women do not listen. I do not know how many females I know who are having relationship problems with men. Many of whom have brought their situation upon themselves. Someone I know we’ll call her ‘Ivy’ is interested in this guy. They go to church together and text almost on a regular basis. Ivy began to send him small gifts and one day built up the courage and told him she liked him and asked him where was their relationship going. He told her he figured she liked him from all the nice things she did for him and he thinks that she is a great friend and was happy she was there in his time of need. Boy was she hurt. Ivy asked me what do you think he meant by that? I asked her what did she mean what did I think he meant, he had already told her she was his FRIEND. I feel like sometime as women we feel we are magicians. We feel like we can change a man’s image, make him better, open him up to new experience or groom him into the men we want them to be. The truth is you can do all the grooming and neutering you want if he doesn’t want to be with you he will not. He will use you for the experiences& opportunities and go and be that good man for another woman who never gave him a thing but her time, lol.
1st thing 1st if you meet a man and he is already in a relationship and he’s creeping around with you on his girlfriend/baby mama/wife what makes you think his actions will change once you all “become official.” Just like some people are habitual liars I feel that some men are habitual cheaters. They will always cheat. And a woman’s intuition is one of her best qualities. Usually if you have a hunch it is right unless you are paranoid and have low self esteem and then there is no hope for you because you will always be suspicious. If you catch him having intercourse with someone else, find unnamed/identified numbers in his pocket or phone, unexplained female friends on his social networking pages, staying out more often than usual, continuous texting and behaviors/actions that is weird for his usual persona what other evidence do you need that he is cheating on you. I am a firm believer that karma is real and you definitely reap what you sew; therefore, people need to be cautious of the seeds they plant.
Some people think when a man calls a woman to see where she is that he is calling out of concern. However, sometimes men do this to check your location to make sure they do not run into you. I was recently told the story of Amber whose boyfriend Joe called to see if she was still at work because Amber usually worked late. However, this particular evening last Thursday to be exact Amber got off early and was about to go shopping. Joe inquired how long she would be and she said 45minutes to an hour. Although, what Joe didn’t know was that Amber was shopping in his neighborhood not her own so she would be at his house sooner than he thought. When Amber got there she didn’t bother to knock after all his car was outside so she quietly & politely let herself in with her key. Well, what did Amber see? She saw her man having sex with another woman. She wrote him a note and left. See I’m guessing Amber had been having a feeling for some time that Joe may be creeping and I hope her seeing old girl riding her man was enough proof for her. If you find yourself checking phone records, hiring private investigators or staking out his place like 5’0 then it’s time to call it quits.
One of the saddest parts of the book is the chapter that compares women to fishing meaning that men see you as a throwback or a keeper. A keeper being a woman that they are proud of and love showing off and a throwback being the kind of woman they use merely for a sexual pleasures or whatever needs to be done but that they clearly want no type of relationship with. When the book first came out and I was discussing this with women I knew that had read it one of the women commented that she knew she was a throwback. At that moment I felt so bad for her because she knew what her role was with men and even though she knew she had not placed herself in good position she didn’t seem to be fazed too much about the title she was wearing because she wore it almost proudly.
I wrote this post because I had a few conversations this weekend and they all involved relationships. My advice to anyone is that instead of going from one failed relationship to another take some time and be by yourself. There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact it can be a growing/learning experience. How can people truly ask someone else to love, respect and honor them when many of them don’t really respect themselves. Get yourself straight so that you can go forward and hopefully be involved in a worthwhile relationship. As my great uncle once told the lady he was dating, “If I can not be the table I sure in hell will not be the tablecloth…”
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Dec
19
2011
Photo of the day
Here’s to the FUTURE because I’ve finally made through the PAST!
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Dec
19
2011
2011 Farewell
Every year many of us often make New Year’s resolutions that we know we have no intentions on keeping; that is exactly why I did not make any last year. Yet, I saw many changes in 2011. The best act that happened this year for me is that I finished grad school. (Yay ME!) I often look back now and wonder how did I work full time and be a full time student with my numerous 15+ page papers in both classes and homework due every day. I know that it was not me that could have done any of it alone; it was only by the grace of God and prayers from loved ones that got me thus far. This year also bought illness into my life in more ways than one to those I hold the most dear to me. I am happy to know that although the illness will be ongoing that things are not as bad as we had thought.
The most interesting thing that happened this year is that a client asked me if she could give me a word and many of the things she told me were occurring in my life and by whom left me with an open mouth. I didn’t know this woman from Adam and she was telling me what was going on with me like we grew up together or something. I have seen much of what she said occur and the rest is being unveiled.
I noticed many changes in myself as well. People I use to enjoy the company of I’m fine only acknowledging them in passing. I began to separate myself from everyone and didn’t even communicate with people. The funny thing is that they didn’t reach out either. However, I noticed some of the “friends” I were once close to and communicated often with now we are as separated as oil and water.I noticed how some sorors I once defended in the company of others now barely want to speak to me at all or how some of them purposely try to make me feel uncomfortable in group settings; but that’s sisterhood? I am no angel but I am pretty sure I come close to it. If I do nothing else I am always fair and believe everyone should be treated respectably. Therefore, that is all I ask in return. If U don’t like me fine but respect me and I will return the favor.
I have even re-united with some old friends and gotten rid of relationships that were not so healthy for me. I realize as much as I try to be the peacemaker, go with the flow and the smooth out things between everyone, that all people will not like me. The reasons they choose not to is up to them but they will not and I just have to be okay with that. There are even persons who attach the title of friend to me who are and have been everything but that. I have heard that you only get a sprinkle of real friends in your life time. So, those few who are willing to ride with me know that I’m willing to do the same for you as long as time allows. And to those who decided to exit I would like to say your season in my life served its purpose and it was not by chance that we had an opportunity to encounter one another. I truly learned from our experiences so, THANK YOU!
Life is a game that I have never quite understood the hand I was being dealt but in the long run I always see how everything worked out for my good. I must remind myself of what the Bible says: Psalm 23:1-6 tells me that the lord is my shepherd and I shall not want… Philippians 4:13 tells me that I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me. Psalm 37:1-2 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb… Matthew 20:16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen. So, 2011 I would like to say that you have truly been a struggle personally & professionally but I am attempting to cope. I must say that I will not be sad to see you go. Therefore, I bid farewell to 2011 and hello to 2012.
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Oct
11
2011
Written by T. Smith—“Does Education Really Matter?”
Today, while surfing through one of the many social networking media sites I came across a photo. The photo was of a homeless man holding a cardboard sign. Now many would ask what makes this man any different from the thousands of homeless people that are scattered throughout the United States. This man sign read “PhD… and I will work for food…” When we think of the homeless epidemic in America most of us fail to realize that there are some highly educated people who have fallen victim to homelessness.
Being well educated no longer guarantees that you will have a bright and successful future. A college degree or degrees today means that you decided to take a step above the rest and join the other thousands of individuals who decided to go to college to have the extra edge on those who did not. Yesterday’s elite has become toady’s middle class, working poor and plain impoverished. The richest of the rich have remained just that. Meanwhile, the middle class has become the working poor and the working poor have become even poorer.
Our economy is and has been at a horrific state for sometime with a steady incline in the unemployment rate. Since April of 2011 the unemployment rate has remained around 9.0% and was at 9.10% for the month of September (Legislatures, 2011). 44.6% of individuals are considered long term unemployed, 14 million idled and 6.2 million people have been jobless for more than 27weeks (Legislatures, 2011).
See Unemployment Chart Below↓
National Unemployment Rates, 2008 - 2011
Jan. Feb. Mar. April May June July Aug. Sept. Oct. Nov. Dec. 2011 9.0 8.9 8.8 9.0 9.1 9.2 9.1 9.1 9.1 2010 9.7 9.7 9.7 9.9 9.7 9.5 9.5 9.6 9.6 9.6 9.8 9.4 2009 7.6 8.1 8.5 8.9 9.4 9.5 9.4 9.7 9.8 10.2 10.0 10.0 2008 4.9 4.8 5.1 5.0 5.5 5.6 5.8 6.2 6.2 6.6 6.8 7.2
Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics
I must say I can definitely relate to the gentleman holding the sign. I may not be homeless in the same sense but I can strongly relate to the struggle of poverty. I have learned in the past five years that it is not what you know as much as who you know. I have indebted myself to education and I often ask myself why? I ask because I work in a position where my talents are unappreciated and overlooked only benefiting the success of others who have no intentions on helping to guide me professionally but to put me on hold in order to help them look flawless professionally. I have grown tired of hearing from employers that I am over qualified or need more experience. I have often wondered to myself if all employers have that frame of thinking where am I suppose to gain this additional experience?
References:
Legislatures, N. C. (2011, October 7th). National Unemployment Summary. Retrieved October 10th, 2011, from ncsl.org: http://www.ncsl.org/?tabid=13307
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May
5
2011
Accelerate-E-mail I received
” My times are in Your hand…”
(Psalm 31:15, NASB).
Today’s Word:
One thing I’ve learned is that God doesn’t always work on our timetable. In fact, He rarely does. But in a single moment, God can change your life! All throughout Scripture, we see examples of how God was working behind the scenes and instantly turned things around for His people. Scripture tells us He is the same yesterday, today and forever which means He can instantly turn things around for you, too!
You may be going through some difficulty today, but be encouraged because your times are in God’s hands. He wants to accelerate things in your favor. He wants to take you further than you dreamed possible and work in your life in ways beyond what you have ever imagined.
Let this truth sink down into your heart today. Resist discouragement by speaking His Word over your future. Keep standing. Keep hoping; keep believing because He is working behind the scenes. He’s going to accelerate your times and lead you into the life of victory He has for you!
Today’s Prayer:
Father God, today I humbly come before You giving You all that I am. I trust that my times are in Your hands. I trust that You are working things out in my favor. I set my focus on You knowing that You are working things out for my good. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
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May
4
2011
Activate Favor- E-mail I received
Today’s Scripture:
” …The LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless”
(Psalm 84:11, NIV).
Today’s Word:
Favor is a part of your inheritance! You don’t have to beg God for it; as a believer in Jesus, you are in covenant with Him. That means that everything He has is yours!
The way you tap into that favor, or activate it, is by thanking Him for it. Say, “Father, thank You for Your favor today. Thank You that Your favor is causing me to be at the right place at the right time. Thank You that Your favor is causing people to want to be good to me.” See, you don’t have to pray about something that you already have, just receive it by thanking Him.
Before I speak each week, I never say, “God, please give me Your favor. Please give me Your anointing.” No, I simply say, “God, thank You for Your anointing. Thank You for Your favor on my life. Thank You for equipping and empowering me.” See, I know that it’s all part of my inheritance. So I just act like it’s true.
Today, activate His promises by faith. Praise and thank Him for His goodness and for blessing your life. Receive His Word as truth and hold it in your heart because He has already given His favor and blessing to you!
Today’s Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank You for Your favor and blessing in my life. Thank You for cleansing me and making me new. Your Word says that You will withhold no good thing from me because I walk blamelessly before You by the blood of Jesus. I receive it by faith and thank You for Your goodness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
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